"Retarded"

I had no idea today was "Spread the Word to End the Word" day. And I am such a believer in this cause that after I read a good friends blog, http://niederfamily.blogspot.com/2011/03/word-retarded-is-not-cool.html, I decided that I too would spread the word. This is not the first time I have written a blog entry on this word, it's just the first time I have posted it. I have such contempt for this word that I have not been able to intelligently express my thoughts. But since today is the day that officially asks people to stop saying such a hurtful word, it just feels right.

I hate the word "retarded". I have a sister with Down Syndrome. I have a ton of people, friends and family who casually use the word retarded. Since my sister Madison was born, I have started asking people not to use that word. Most of the time I am met with an incredulous look, as if I am the one who is being insensitive or too sensitive. A look that says "why did you have to make things so uncomfortable." And while I have stood my ground, it hasn't been easy. I have felt uncomfortable too, stupid even. I have felt like the odd ball who is taking things too seriously or getting my feelings hurt too easily. But it's not me. It's you. It's those of you who think it's okay to call anyone or anything retarded.

I guess you never had a sibling born with Downs, or a child, or a cousin, or a niece. I guess you and your family have never had the experience of looking at your baby and wondering, if she will be okay, if she will go to normal schools, if people will make fun of her, if she will be called a retard, if she will walk, talk or have any semblance of normalcy or what is considered normalcy in this world. I guess you never shed those tears, held your family and prayed everything was going to be okay. You have also never celebrated those victories when words are achieved, walking is achieved, basic skills are reached, milestones are met. You haven't experienced the pain or the joy. If you had, you would never use the word retard. A word that has been stripped of its meaning and instead used to degrade others. A word that does nothing more than hurt. A word that seeks to place people with different abilities down. Why would you ever do that?

So if you are my friend or my family or someone who reads this blog, please stop using this word. As a mom of a special needs child, as the sister of someone with Downs, as a friend to people with many differently-abled children, I am asking you to stop. You will only be doing something good if you do.

Thank you.