Looking back...and forward.

What a year! If you have been reading my blog for a while now, you know that this has been an incredible year for our family. There is so much that happened, with the birth of the babies, Owen's diagnosis of Escobar, the adjustment of 1 child to 3, Gavin's adjustment of being an only child to being the big brother of 2, appointments, appointments and more appointments, surgeries, good news, bad news, and our family grew closer than ever before.

I wouldn't change a minute.

Having a baby with special needs has brought Nick and I closer. It has also brought the 5 of us extremely close. Nothing is taken for granted and there isn't a day that Nick and I are not wondering how the dynamic of our family is affecting each one of us. We have learned to steal moments of time to appreciate each other, to hug and kiss, to tell Gavin we are proud of him, to be there for each other in support. And it's not like this all wasn't there before, it's just that now we have a reason to think about it, to do things deliberately so as to not damage anyone, to consider feelings more, to have concern for each other's stress levels. We have faced things that no one ever wants to face. We did it together.

There is no one on this earth that I could have gone through this with, except my husband. And we are still happy. We are proud of each other. We have done a good job in this last year. We have many years to go with this situation, but I honestly believe that none will be as hard as this first, even if the procedures become more complicated, the hospital time extended, the balancing act more strenuous. We will do it.

We love those little boys. All three of them. I cannot tell you how many smiles have been put on our faces since the babies have joined us. Gavin is an amazing big brother. Protecting, worrying, watching over and of course, working very hard to keep Caleb, who is walking, out of his room because "those are my toys." Owen is such a joy. Happy, loud, funny, smart and understanding. Owen is so forgiving for everything. And he works so hard. He used a spoon to eat ice cream. He rolls over and over and over. He scoots to get where he wants. He opens his hands completely. What milestones we have reached! Caleb is hysterical. He knows he is funny, he puts on a show and wants you to laugh. He is also the best to cuddle with. He loves to hug and kiss and lay on your chest. Caleb is also smart. Lots of people say that Owen will be the brains and Caleb the brawn. I say, don't count Caleb out. He is a bright little boy.

I will never forget the babies birth and the tears that fell on that day and the ones after. I will never forget the fear, lack of understanding and mourning for a healthy baby. Nor will I ever forget the happiness, the joy, the way our families and friends came together over the last year to show us they care and they are here to help. I learned to lean on people in this last year. I have never been good at that. I had to and I am glad I did. I am forever grateful to everyone.

What a year. Happy Birthday Owen and Caleb. We love you more than words can say!