This last couple of weeks...

To give you an idea of what life has been like lately- last week unexpectedly, we all were off from our jobs and school. Some of us for planned vacations (Nick and Gavin) and I was off because I had my second miscarriage in 5 months. It was actually great that Nick and Gavin were home because it forced me to deal with it in a different manner than if I was home alone wallowing in my self-pity. Not that I do not think I am allowed, because I do think its perfectly fine if thats how I choose to deal with it. However, it made me choose not to cry constantly and to concentrate on the wonderful things I have in front of my face. My wonderful husband and our son (and lola too...not that it always seems that way!) Its been nuts attempting to have a second child. Especially given that it was so easy with Gavin. With him, it was one, two, three. With this its been like an emotional rollercoaster that seems to have one stop- heartbreak. We want another baby so badly, we have the means, the space, a loving family and a great relationship that we have worked to keep that way. So why not us? Why can't we have another? Doctors say because we had one, we can. They went on and on about how there is a 90% chance nothing is wrong with me or Nick. But, that remains to be seen. We will be having testing done on May 5 and will get the genetic testing results of the baby about one week later. I am really interested to know if there is something wrong and something that could have been easily detected after our first miscarriage in November. Being a med mal lawyer, doesn't help all these thoughts. Anyway, I will keep updating on how the test results go and what we find. I hope that we find that we can try again and will be successful.