20 days and counting....

Ah, this is the second time I am going to write this post and it better post this time! Anyway, 20 days and counting. Our boys will be born on March 31, 2010 via c-section. I am scared. Of the c-section, of the recovery and mostly of having three kids. Most parents get to ease into three. Have one, have two, toss the idea around and have three. Not us. We go from one to three in mere minutes. It still seems a little surreal. And I know that there are many joys to come, however, I am scared. I realize that sometime in the next 20 days, I will have to put my big girl panties on and get over this fear. But for now, I have a lot on my mind. Sleepless nights, clubfoot, countless doctor appointments, two babies crying at once, trying to breastfeed two, Gavin gaining two brothers and losing the undivided attention of two parents, the poor dog and what place in the family she takes while all of this is going on and the sleepless nights. What? It deserves a second mention. I also cannot wait. 20 days seems so soon and yet, each day takes an eternity to pass. I can't wait to hold them, smell them, watch them sleep (please God, let them sleep), watch Gavin become a big brother, to become closer as a family because of them and us going through this experience together. I love them so much already. I am going to miss this pregnancy. My pregnancy with Gavin was so hard that I could not wait to get him out and be done. But this is different, maybe because there is two in there, maybe because a twin pregnancy doesn't happen everyday, or maybe because I finally got to benefit from that pregnancy glow and shiny hair! I don't know. However, I do know that there are 20 days left of Nick, Sara, Gavin and Lola. It makes me a little sad. We are a tight unit. I know we will just be a bigger, tighter unit, but this is all I have known for a long time. Now only 20 days until we meet Caleb Collins Sedey and Owen Collins Sedey.