"Single" Parenting...kind of

Nick has been gone since Sunday. Its been fine. I miss him a lot and so does Gavin, but really I can handle it. Its more work for sure, but I had prepared myself for that. Mostly, its just quiet. At night after Gavin goes down (in Nicks spot), I kind of wander around the house and attempt to get settled. I can't seem to fully relax though. I read a chapter of my book and then I get up and look for something to do... did I leave a random dish undone? I put the T.V. on and watch, but even then I think of something I should to do or "need" to do. I have painted my dresser, bought a used chair for the livingroom, cleaned it and gotten it situated with a throw blanket and decorative pillow (I know I am nuts, its a non-issue at this point). I have attempted to put up two new towel racks, but after much frustration, it seems as though I have given up after one. I would need to drill the bathroom tile to get the other up and I just think some things are better left done by Nick. I have cleaned, re-cleaned, and cleaned again. I think at this point, the moment the hair falls off of Lola, I have swept in and swiffered it up. I have done coffee, breakfast, lunch and dinner now for 5 days and I have handled garden watering, garbage duty (hey Nick, you know all those times you have asked me when did I ever take the garbage out during the last ten years???? I now have an answer for you) and recyclables. I have handled Gavin, who has proven to be quite easy. He has, with very little argument, brushed his teeth, gotten dressed, bathed and went to bed. So all in all, its been nice to know I can handle it. Its also nice to be reminded that I don't want to handle it by myself. I miss Nick. And not for the garbage duty, recyclables, lola, chopping, cutting, watering and towel holder installation. For his company, conversation, laughs, silliness, time spent with the three of us, his hugs, kisses, shoulder to lean on, listening, helping, making me feel safe at night, love, affection and him just being him. So I hope he does not go away again for ten days. Can't wait til he gets home.